


The Emperor's New Plating

by Hours_Gone_By



Series: AU Yeah AUgust 2019 [7]
Category: TransTech (Transformers), Transformers - Aligned Continuity Family, Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Canon Soup, Fairy Tale Retellings, Gen, au yeah august
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-18 19:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20318416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hours_Gone_By/pseuds/Hours_Gone_By
Summary: One cycle three mecha, all named Swindle and for a good reason, came to the city where the emperor's palace was located. They claimed to be armourers and were capable of making the most extraordinary plating one could imagine. Not only was the metal sleek, durable, and so reflective it never needed polishing, they said, no one who was incompetent or stupid would be able to see their reflection in it.Based uponThe Emperor's New Clothes, by Hans Christian Andersen.





	The Emperor's New Plating

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fairy Tale Anon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Fairy+Tale+Anon).

> Day #10 – Fairy Tale
> 
> I don't know much about TransTech, I just could not resist using [Swindle, Swindle, and Swindle](https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Swindle,_Swindle_and_Swindle) for this.

Vorn upon vorn ago an emperor ruled a far off land on Cybertron. The emperor left most of his ruling to his council for he preferred to go to the theatre or to drive about the land where the mecha he ruled could see his flawless, gleaming finish. The emperor spent a great deal of time ensuring no scratches marred his paint, and he was always polished to perfection. While other rulers might spend time in court or chambered with their ministers, Emperor Knock Out was most often to be found either in his detailing salon or on the race track.

One cycle three mecha, all named Swindle and for a good reason, came to the city where the emperor's palace was located. They claimed to be armourers and were capable of making the most extraordinary plating one could imagine. Not only was the metal sleek, durable, and so reflective it never needed polishing, they said, no one who was incompetent or stupid would be able to see their reflection in it.

Knock Out did not believe their claim about reflections since while he was vain, he knew physics does not work that way. However, he was curious about the other alleged qualities of the plating, and so he gave the Swindles space in the palace smithy where they could work and forge it for him. The Swindles set up their equipment and pretended to go to work. They asked for the highest quality materials, which they hid to sneak away with later, and worked with lower-quality materials instead, insisting that no one oversee their process so that they would not be caught out.

Sometime after the Swindles began, Knock Out thought he would like to see how they were coming with the armour. The smithy was far too dirty for him to risk his finish in, of course, so he decided to send someone else in his stead.

So Knock Out sent one of his ministers, Ramjet, to the smithy where the three Swindles were working away at their substandard metal. Ramjet looked at one of the finished pieces, but it was dull, and he could not see his reflection in it.

Swindle the First asked Ramjet if the piece weren't magnificent and wasn't it amazingly shiny? Ramjet looked harder, and he refreshed his optics, and he degaussed his optics, and he still could not see his reflection. But Ramjet didn't want anyone to know this and decided he wouldn't say anything about how the metal didn't seem shiny at all.

"You aren't saying anything," Swindle the Second said.

"Is there anything…wrong?" Swindle the Third asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Ramjet said finally. "It's great! Really shiny! I'll tell the emperor it's looking great and I'm sure he's gonna be happy with it."

"Perfect!" the Swindles said and talked for a while about the qualities of the polish and the elegance of the annealing. Ramjet paid close attention so he could report these things back to the emperor, and he did so very carefully, pretending enthusiasm over what he hadn't seen.

The Swindles now asked for more money, more fine metals, and more supplies, all of which they hid to steal away with later. Then they went on working away as before in the palace smithy.

Knock Out sent other ministers to the smithy to check on the Swindle's progress. These ministers saw – or rather, did not see – precisely what Ramjet had seen and they too reported back on the magnificent qualities of the armour. Word spread, and everyone was sure that their emperor would be the talk of Cybertron once the armour was completed and installed on his structure. Even Knock Out began to wonder if the Swindles hadn't told him the exact truth about their unique metal.

"I think," Knock Out said one night as his valet, a massive mech with a surprisingly deft touch with a buffer, named Breakdown was giving him his evening polish, "that I should have a trial run with this armour through the palace first. Just to see the reactions, know what I need to touch up, maybe customize a little bit, don't you?"

Breakdown shrugged. "Sure, sounds like a good idea."

So word was sent to the Swindles, and they made a show of staying up the night before Knock Out's trial run and pretended they were putting considerable effort into finishing the armour. They measured and fussed and acted as though they were adjusting the fit and filing down burrs, and said loudly how proud they were that the emperor was to wear the plating they had created.

The morning of the procession, Knock Out came to them with his valet, his ministers, and several distinguished and highly-placed members of his court. Breakdown carefully removed the emperor's existing plating, and then the Swindles replaced it with the new armour they had made. They chattered all the while about how beautiful the pieces were.

"Just look how well the cuirass catches the light!"

"How the vambraces reflect the room around you!"

"Even the sabatons seem to glow as if the dirt you walk on cannot touch them!"

The ministers and courtiers all agreed with the Swindles and not one of them said that they could see nothing at all reflected in the armour, nor did it so much as catch a sunbeam for it was dull. Breakdown looked at the whole process with a raised optic ridge, but he said nothing because Knock Out had told him not to.

"There!" the Swindles exclaimed, at last, standing back and pretending to admire their work. "Does it not fit you well, your Majesty?"

"Let me ask my ministers and courtiers," Knock Out said, hiding his dislike and turning to the assembled crowd. The Swindles quietly faded into the background and, gathering their bounty from its hiding place, began to swiftly flee the palace.

The ministers and courtiers all praised the armour, it's gloss and shine and elegant fit, and each tried to proclaim louder than the last how well they could see themselves reflected in it. Only one minister, the wise and silent Soundwave, said nothing, and he only slowly shook his head.

"You all are nuts," said one of Soundwave's Recordicons, Rumble, with his arms folded. "That ain't shiny at all!"

The ministers and courtiers all made shocked noises, protesting, saying that clearly Rumble was fallen victim to the magic of the armour's reflection – though none, fearing Soundwave, would outright call him incompetent or stupid.

"Would you care to repeat that, Rumble?" Knock Out asked, looking over and down at the short mech.

"I _said _it ain't shiny at all," Rumble repeated. "I dunno what those guys are seeing. Right, Soundwave?"

Soundwave, whom no one would ever dream of calling incompetent or stupid, silently nodded and the ministers and courtiers were at a loss. They could not speak without insulting Soundwave or revealing themselves to be liars, and they did not know what to do.

"Well," said the emperor, "now I know who I can trust. You're all _fired_. Soundwave, look after it. Breakdown! _Get this mess off of me!_"

Soundwave and Breakdown once again proved their trustworthiness, and soon the ministers and courtiers were ousted and Knock Out was once more his gorgeously shiny self.

When at last someone thought to look for the Swindles, they were nowhere to be found, having taken with them all that the emperor had supplied them with.

Knock Out, having replaced his ministers with more capable and honest ones – though, not _too_ honest, he was an emperor after all – called it shanix well spent and thought of it no more.


End file.
